God, where do I even begin?! So, skids have been here since Saturday. BF and I had a "plan" to stick together and make them follow rules as well as do their chores. I still ended up with a sick feeling on the way to pick them up, or maybe it was just all of the text messages BF was getting from BM that was making me sick, not sure. Ok, so everything was fine, minor brother sister fights here and there (that I CAN deal with, no biggie). But yesterday, omg yesterday was really bad. FSS was a total handful, calling me idiot and throwing things when I'd ask him to do something simple, "can you put your things in your room please?".. "Shut up IDIOT!!" It continued like this all day. Eventually I was "spring cleaning" with FSD, FSS was right there freaking out about everything the 2 yr old was doing, it was driving me up the wall hearing "oh she's doing this" and "she's doing that" over and over constantly! Finally I said, "It's ok! You don't have to freak about every little thing, she's 2, leave her alone." He flipped out, called me names again and ran out the door. Like 10 mins later, he comes to the side door and taps on the window, wanting back in the house. (Part of me felt like keeping the damn door locked and let his little ass sit out there until BF got home) But I let him back in. I opened the door, looked at him as serious as I could and said, "can you tell me what I have EVER done to you to make you think you can treat me this way?" He just stood there, glaring at me. So I said, "well?" Then it was like Satan himself spoke up and said "I WILL kill you!" WTF?! This 12 yo just told me that he will kill me! The violence continued, he picked on his sister, hitting her and name calling. FINALLY, BF gets home. I filled him in and boy oh boy did FSS get his butt straightened out! Let's just say that Dad "took him out behind the barn" so to speak. After that he was sent to his room, told to stay there and do NOT come out. He stayed for about 45 mins or so. Then BF asked FSD & myself to come sit and talk, so we did. None of us could figure out anything to do to help with FSS behavior. So we have FSS come out to talk with us. He wouldn't speak, he sat there rolling his eyes and started calling BF an idiot. He eventually said that he didn't care who he hurts and that he doesn't want a family. He doesn't care about anything. So, BF asked how he expects to make it through life with no one,because with the way he's treating us, all he's doing is driving us ALL away. He still had no answer and said he didn't care, continued name calling and pissed off BF beyond belief. BF told him to pack his things, as he was planning to take him to BM house. I felt a sigh of relief knowing he was leaving, but at the same time, I kind of felt "guilty" for just tossing this aside and letting him "escape" to his mother's. For there I know he'd probably be praised for once again treating me like dirt. So, being the loving person I am, I went out side to talk to BF, told FSS to stay in the house. I basically told BF that we can't just continue to sweep this under the rug by taking him back to BM every time. I said we need to deal with this once and for all. I plan to be here a long time and at some point he needs to learn that he HAS to respect me. He can hate all he wants, but I want RESPECT from that kid. Took a few mins of telling BF that this will be tough, I'll hate it, he'll hate it, we'll be so stressed out from it, but we HAVE to try with this kid. We have to stick TOGETHER and try. Then I asked him, "what if FSS was OUR child? We couldn't just hand him off to someone like we do now. So let's try to fix it." He agreed. Soo, BF went to store, I took this time to take FSS into his bedroom and sit him down to talk. This was our first serious talk. I told him I loved him and wanted to have a great relationship with him, but his behavior and the way he treats me does nothing but push me away and mainly break my heart. I told him I didn't want him to have to go to a "home" for bad/sick kids, and my eyes got all watered up. Once he saw that it was like a light came on in his head. Then he said to me, "you just try to be my mom all the time." So, I told him, "I am not trying to be your mom, you only have one in this world and it's not me. I just want to be your friend." We talked a while longer, he said he was very sorry for how he acted and promised not to do it again. Then he hugged me. The rest of the night was OK, it was stressful, the entire house felt like every one was walking on egg shells.

monday i came home from work...no water. i didnt say anything to SS. after the last blowout, i figured, i will let it slide...i really dont want him to think of me as the wicked witch of st. louis.

Has anyone read the book step mother hood by cherie burns? I picked it up yesterday bc I heard that it was a wonderful book, and that it would help me with the problems im having with the FSK and BM. This book has done nothing but make things worse for me and make me think Im crazy and BM is the sane one.

Ok so on my first post "sarabernheart" left a comment about a "craziest thing BM has ever done contest"! It really made me laugh thinking about all the weird crap she has done so I decided to post it! Ill give you my story and you all give me yours! It should be good entertainment! Great idea "saraberheart"! LOL K here it goes:

Unless BD 2 is just like me.

Because though BD 2 mentioned SD throughout her absence, and got excited to see her again when she went down to ILs with DH to pick her up, BD 2 is over her being home and already yelling for her to go away.

I have 2 ss, ages 8 & 5. BM has met a man on the internet and is supposedly getting married in sept, without ever seeing this person. Now she is saying she is moving out of town with him and the kids..Any suggestions?? We currently have ss every other weekend as well as 3-4 days per week.

I'm not sure what's considered normal. I'm an only child, so my parents never had to worry about bathing me with siblings. I know that often times families with small children give them a tub bath at the same time.

I put my foot down. The 16 year old man/child will get "visited all day" by his father every other weekend. No more over nighters.
I was all in knots three days before the visits & and I reall didn't do well (INSIDE) during the visits. I did it for 4 years-----with a smile.

I posted this on my Myspace Blog but I wanted to put it here too for those who aren't on Myspace.

DH came home very upset tonight and asked if I would talk to him. We went to the bedroom and he said he was sorry that he never ment to hurt me, that things got out of hand. He said the worst thing that could happen did. Life without me. He said he never realized how hard life was knowing when he got home he couldn't talk to me, to hug me. He said he missed the "I love you's" and the other little things I did everyday. He said that he couldn't stand seeing the pain in my eyes everytime he looked at me.

I have not had anything to be concerned about for a while. It was so nice but not anymore...

BM moved the end of May into a rental townhouse about 2 miles from the house she got in the divorce and it supposed to fix up and sell. The neighbors of the house have been calling BF all day telling him that BM is renting the house to her boyfriend's kid(s). Apparently over the past 2 weeks that they have lived in the house, there have been numerous police calls for noise issues, parties, cars parked on the street overnight, revving car engines late at night, etc. BF has been told a couple of young woman live in the house and at least one is only 18. This morning one of BM's "tenants" tried to break into the neighbor across the streets house. We have only had BM's new address for a couple of weeks and only after BF reminded her that it is in the court order that she has to disclose where she and the baby are living. BF spoke with a police officer ans was advised that since his name is still on the house, he is liable if anything happens. The officer also advised him to call his attorney. Some of the neighbors thinjk there may be drug deals going on at the house too - lots of people coming over and not staying for very long all hours of the day and night. We have run the license plates of all the cars we have seen at the house and the plates the neighbors have given us and we can only come up with guys names and most of them are 35 plus.

My oldest SS turned 24 this month. We had him over for dinner and birthday cake.

Nellie: Do you feel like a grown up?
SS24: (Looking kind of shocked at the question.) No.

Kind of reminded me of when I asked him a few months ago if he had a 5 year plan. He laughed and said No. I don't think he has a 5 minute plan.