We've got to go to court today for SD's fit back in May. I don't know why but I'm nervous. I know nothing is going to happen to me. SD12 was upset about it yesterday. She kept saying I've been good for the past four days. Yeah well four days don't make up for three months. DH talked with BM two days ago and she's pissed that I'm still going through with it. BM said we are doing it to punish her... umm ok... I think she's fishing for excuses and reasons not to come get the girls today. I won't be surprised if she doesn't show up.

I was supposed to pick up sd today but she has plans to go shopping with her grandmother.So she wants to know if i can pick her up tomorrow.After trying to get a hold of her for 2 days to tell her i a

First of all THANK YOU to all of you wonderful women who have helped me and been there to support me through all of this. I can not tell you how much I appreciate you all and value your support. Being here has made me become a stronger person and has made me feel like I am not alone.

You know, things have been so peaceful at my house with SD15 residing primarily with BM. Don't know how things are going at BM's house, and don't care!

We now have SD every other weekend for the summer. Much more manageable for my stress level! Plus, we have her this weekend but I will be out of town for work. So I will not see SD for a month. Yay me!

Sorry this is kind of disjointed, I feel overwhelmed today - still feuding with MIL and now DH as well. DH went up to visit MIL on Tuesday and she sent him home with a long letter for me about her feelings and the way I handled our disagreement on Sunday. I refused to read it. I don't have any desire to foster a positive relationship w her right now. I know I should for the sake of my family, but I just don't.

Friday the 11th. Just another day, right?

I have been dreading this day for a month now. All started when I got an e-mail from my lawyer informing me that my son's biodad was contesting my final orders hearing. It's surreal how calm I am with it hours away. Maybe because there are answers right around the corner for me and the build up to the event will finally be at an end.

This poem was mentioned in another post. I went searching for it and thought everyone might like to see it again. Thanks CplStv for the reminder. Enjoy!

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens

I have not been on here since I posted the now "infamous" post! Anne sent me an email this afternoon to let me know that many of you were defending me to some strange lady. I was freaked out not knowing if I was yet again being stalked out by someone of SD's other family. I just walked in and had 63 comments to read. It took a little time since I would have to stop in between tears to compose myself again. I would also stop to tell DH that "so and so" said this or that. I am amazed that I have made such life long friendships here. This site began as a curiousity and a hope that maybe I would be able to vent a little when I first became a SM. I never thought that I would become so attached to you all and would make such strong friendships and bonds. You all have gotten me (and DH) through some of the worst times of our lives. I love all of you and cannot believe how you guys rallied for me... wait a minute... yes I can. This is the same support I got when all the stuff about SD's abuse first came up. Yeah, you guys were there to keep me going through that too. You guys are not cyber friends or some people I met online. You are my extended family. I cherish all of you.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure,

It is our Light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

When we got there the state had SD12 a lawyer. After I told him what happened he told me I had filed the wrong charges against her. He said I should have filed battery, criminal trespass, and criminal mischief. The battery for hitting, and the trespass and mischief for breaking and throwing things. He said I didn't do her a favor for not fiing the charges.

I think I now understand the unofficial rules of this site- the biggest obviously being I should never make any assumptions about any of you based on your own words and your own descriptions of your behavior, but that everyone is free to make assumptions about me no matter how petty or unfounded only because they don't like the content of what I have to say, even when your comrades agree with some of what I have to say.

Well the counselor has not called back and I'm kinda freaking out right now because her receptionist said she would try to fit me/him in. Now I have to spend the next few days with someone that I resent (FH). It's gonna be a long weekend ya know. I'm trying really hard to not dislike him so much right now but it is so hard. I am not going to argue with him because I hope all these things can come out in counseling. The part I am freaking out about right now is SD15 is coming out to stay with us for 5 days next week starting thursday and I have so much resentment towards her dad and I don't want her to see that. I don't know SD that well because this is only her 3rd visit but we do get along really well. The fact that I want to scream your mother is a psychotic bitch keeps coming to mind though - which of course I would never do! LOL. I just don't know how to get through the visit. Do I smile and act like everything is ok - do I just let them go do their own thing or do I join in a little? He talked about driving down to LA and staying there for a couple of days - maybe he should just go with her. One thing I hate to do is be fake but I certainly don't want to upset SD - I mean it is not her fault her mom is crazy. I'm really conflicted right now and I am kicking myself for not doing the counseling gig back in march when I was first made aware of all the phone calls. Well we can't go back we can only go forward right Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this visit? I'm really looking forward to going to counseling and getting all this issues out in the open and hopefully getting them resolved but I know it can't be fixed in a week. Thanks to all of you - I appreciate all your support - if any of you ever need a shoulder to cry on I am here for all of you as well! xoxo

Hi, I need help with a situation. You may have to read my bio to get background info first.

Since my SD's BM is disabled and lives in a college dorm room there really isn't any place for them to spend time together, so SD & BM spend time together at BF's parent's house. the BM plans on getting a place on her own when she graduates from college. (see has 2 years left) In the mean time I have to share my holidays and other events with the BM and my in laws all at the same time. It definitely causes everyone to be uncomfortable, but we don't really have any other options at this point. I mean, the BM and I get along enough, but it's still uncomfy when you are spending time with your inlaws and your boyfriends ex wife. My main focus is my SD, since her grandmother and I are the main mothers figure in her life. I want her to have the best up bringing as possible, but sometimes it's hard with the situation we are in.

wish I could report that this past month that BM has stopped with the lies and put SD first for a change but YEAH RIGHT!!! So, BM had taken SD to the psychiatrist after DH said that he wanted a professional treating SD from now on. SD went back to her moms for a week and went during this week. DH called the doctors office the next day to ask to speak to the doctor to see what he said and was met with unsual resistance. The secretary asked him who he was and then asked if there was some kind of custody issue and that he would have to speak to the doctor to see if he could get any information. WHAT???!!! So DH faxed in a copy of the current court order showing the joint custody, and pointed out the paragraph on medical records etc. and imagine that...the doctor called him back. DH called BM and asked what "custody issue" she was talking about and she said that she didn't say anything at all about anything like that. LIE LIE LIE!! The doctor sent DH the evaluation report in the doctors hand and right there was written that BM had said that there was "custody issues still being worked on". So DH was really mad. He tried to call and talk to BM but she said that she wouldn't talk to him and that they "did not need to communicate". She said that if he had a question that he could email it to her. Okay he said so he did. He didn't hold back at all. He told her how he is tired of being underminded by her in regards to SD. Is is the father and that SD's step dad was not her dad and he was tired of getting records with him listed as the father of SD. He also told her that he was mad that she let SD go so far in school failing all the way and that he has the records now and knows that she was lying and that she was the one that didn't get the tutor that he had been paying for for months etc...she replied back hateful and told him that the past was the past and he needed to get over it. Oh, so because she is caught she gets to say that???

Hi Everyone. Since I am new I would like to say Hi and thank you for having such a wonderful site. I can't wait to start venting and giving advice. I hope everyone has a great day.